Prologue: Bark Ferguson

PROLOGUE BEGIN

It was the 4th day of Harvest, and the suns were setting as evening approaches. On the 70th floor I could see everything, just about everything.... My people the magical floating box robots of Vulcan. I am no longer one of them. Punished wrongfully by the great Magician Qoup Zorkle. Trying to stop me from simply going out and getting the vengeance I deserve. He had no right to decide what I was to spend my life doing. And to his judgement he changed me into some sort of thing. Something so hideous, that I could no longer be seen in the golden light of the Taco King. Banished from the place I had called home. I must defeat Zorkle, in order to continue what i was doing. I pray to the Dolphin Gods for guidance. This is not a time to be spacing out.

I need to stop wasting time with this issue, and then move on to that other guy..... the one who killed my son.

As I scooped the cereal out of my bowl with what used to be my hand I rubbed it into my face for strength. This was a time to get serious.
I ran down the hallway, ready for whatever nonsense that may happen.

As Bark ran out into the terrace of his home, he found a LEDGE, and next to it, his trusty flying motorbike STEVE, which they had such good times together for the past years.

Evening approaches. What will Bark do?!

Idiotically knowing that this probably wasn't Barks home. Bark questioned why Steve was in this place. This was the tower belonging to the great magician Quop Zorkle. (Pronounced "Qwop" in Orangeeeze). Maybe this was his home. Maybe it wasnt. His people are not very smart.

After pondering on the existance of chocolate pudding for a good half hour, Bark gets on his STEVE. and runs off the ledge to get to the top floor as quickly as possible. Hopefully the Zorkle would be there.

He also licked the floor for nutrients before he left that place.

Because he did not turn STEVE on (lol) He and his motorbike fell down the tower of Quop. He was barelling down the thousand mile tall tower, and all he has to do is turn STEVE on. Just one button.

After Mistaking the start button for the horn for at least a good five minutes. He accidentally hit the power button activating the magic feet of STEVE. With the magical feet of STEVE, it allowed STEVE the bike to fly. like some kind of magical unicorn prancing about the rainbows. NOW IT IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. Growing a mu-stash for such occasion. he gains altitude, also bran muffins. Shiz bout to get real now.

Steve begins to climb around the tower slowly, but surely. Three hours pass and the sun sinks, as the two moons of Endor rise above the horizon. Before long, Steve and Bark are there - at the top of the tower. There, Qoup waits for Bark.

Quop was there, he always knows where everything is. That guy is way too powerful. Probably why he is control of what used to be your people.
It clearly looks like that top of the tower from lord of the rings. But ignoring that now. he got offa STEVE and steped onto the single floor of the top of the tower thing.

"THERE YOU ARE ZORKLE? CANT YOU SEE THAT I MUST GO KILL SOMEONE OF GREATER CALLING"
Bark Scooted Forward.
"I must go After Trebek, for killing my son, Burt Reynolds."

He gets ready to attack the Zorkle, Charging with full force.

Zorkle was ready for this abruptly stupid attack and prepared for a counterattack of his own.

He grabbed his magical staff of baked goods and began to fire large amounts of croissants at Bark, in the hopes of stopping his brutal assault.

O NO.

Crawcaunts! Barks true weakness. That Zorkle clearly knows all, Now bark is going to be as bloated as an adolescent schoolgirl after eating them all.
Luckily, Bark had brought the tea, and within the battle they had a nice candlelight dinner. Including a full course meal. The Crawcaunts really was a nice touch. But before long Bark had the Zorkle on the ropes. In fact there was allot of ropes. That or Twizzlers.

The Zorkle, bleeding on the ground misery. He held STEVE in his arms, about to make the final blow, to seal the Dark Lord himself into the Twilight realm and save all of Hyrule. ONLY THEN COULD HE GET BACK HIS TRUE FORM.

Before the final blow was struck, Zorkle raised his hand in vengance. Bark had nothing to do but stop his attack.

Just then, Zorkle twoh open a portal in time, roughly the size of a baby carrot.

But it was too late, the third day had past, and the Moon with the face on it came crashing down onto Hyrule.

The portal closed in on itself and Bark only had moments to finish off his foe and escape before the moon destroyed everything.

The portal was very portal like, but all the Zorkle could think was....

"WHEN THE HECK DID I GET INTO TERMINA?"

He screamed.
"CURSE YOU ZORKLE! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

AND THEN HE LET THE SWIRLY GUMDROPS FLOW THROUGH HIMS AS THE PORTALS DRUGS TOOK EFFECT.

Nothing happened as it did in the previous paragraph.

However, Just as the moon almost impacted the surface of the planet, a large, swirling vortex of a portal appears behind Bark and then sucks him in, closing before he could finish off Zorkle.

The world that Bark left behind was destroyed. Or was it...???






PROLOGUE END